|If you take an
Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If lawyers are
disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians
can be delighted, musicians denoted?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two
cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread
to begin with?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
I'm completely in
favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two
institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together
is certain death.
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who
drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys
deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
As a matter of
principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more
as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons
and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are
we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while
they deliver the mail?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the
others here for?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?