the difference between a tea cup and a peecup?
tea cup is a kind of cup they drink out of in England. A peecup is a
kind of truck they drive in Mexico.
doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Any Mexican that can run jump or swim is in the US!
little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He
puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He says,
"Mom, look - I'm a white boy!" His mom slaps him in the face and says,
"Go show your father." He goes to his dad in the living room and says,
"Look Dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and
says, "Go show your grandmother." The boy goes into his grandmother's
room and say, "Mira, Abuelita, I'm a white boy." His grandmother slaps
him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says,
"See, did you learn anything from that?" To which the boy replies,
"Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate
big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits
Mexico. Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured.
The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to
start with asking for help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in
Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.
Arabia is sending oil to replace what was lost.
Other Latin American countries are sending supplies to replace what was
The European community is sending food to replace what was lost.
The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million
US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by
the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law,
you've got to go back across the border right now."
The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de
The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard
for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words
in a sentence".
The Mexican man of course agrees.
The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and
Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence."
The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says,
"Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez
boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist named John
complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked
how long it took him to catch them."Not very long," answered the
"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked John.
The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his
needs and those of his family.
John asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and fuck the shit
out of my wife. In the evenings I go into the village to see my
friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, have sex, and sing a few
songs. I have a full life."
John interrupted, "I have a M.B.A. from Stanford and I can help you.
You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the
extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger
boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a
second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of
trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can
negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your
own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico
City, Los Angeles, or even New Jersey! From there you can direct your
"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied John.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards? That's when it gets really interesting," answered John,
laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling
stocks and make millions!"
"Millions? Really? And after that?"
"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the
coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, have sex,
and spend your evenings drinking and playing the guitar with your