ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. Eyelash curlers
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time
5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow
3. Fat clothes
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made
1. Other Women
The Top 10 Rejected Beer Slogans
10. Beer: Getting sorority girls knocked up for 300 years
9.A decent excuse for your normal clumsy self
8. Beer: That nasty taste means it's workin'!
7. You have to fill your bladder with something.
6. We don't make the urine. We make the urine faster.
5. Numbing the Embarrassment of Being You
4. It's the thicker-chicker-picker-upper!
3. Easier to Spell than Whiskey
2. The *Other* Thin Yellowish Liquid
1. Beer: It's how you got here.
TEN Shows in Iraqi TV
9. Mad About Everything
8. Allah McBeal
7. Wheel of Terror
6. Achmed's Creek
5. The Price is Your Life
4. Imprisoned Children Say the Darndest Things
3. The Brian Bin Laden Show
2. Buffy the Slayer of American Imperialist Dogs
1. Suddenly Sanctions
Ten Things Heard at the John Wayne Gacy Killer Clown Trial
10. "If the giant red shoes don't fit, you must acquit."
9. "How can we even be sure that my client was the triggerman?
Eyewitnesses testified that they saw 32 other people in the car."
8. "The prosecution failed prove that the residue on the victim's face
matched the meringue stain from the vehicle."
7. "If my client is guilty of anything, it's zany, madcap buffoonery!"
6. "A little song, a little dance, a little justice down your pants."
5. "You want the goof? You can't handle the goof!"
4. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages of the
"Seltzer bottle... .357 Magnum. Any one of us could have made the same
terrible, tragic mistake."
2. "This heinous act is a pie in the face to clowns everywhere."
1. "You've seen a lot of circumstantial evidence. You've heard a lot of
wild speculation from the prosecution. But where, WHERE is the dripping
things that sound dirty but aren't
10. Nuts...my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.